Progress, Folks!

I wanted to share a photo from a wedding I shot last weekend. The setup was the idea of the bride and her maid-of-honor and at first I thought, "Whoa, holy cheese city." But the photo turned out pretty damn cute. But most importantly, I took this photo in a bar bathroom, with no light, with a flash and it actually looks good! A year ago, there's no way I could have pulled that off!

Happy 2nd!

Today is our second anniversary. It kind of feels like two years, and it kind of doesn't. Our marriage has been pretty easy going so far. We don't fight over things that aren't worth fighting over and we honestly love each other more now than when we got married. I'm also completely smitten with the fact that we're creating a miniature version of ourselves mashed into one body. It's so bizarre and so sweet at the same time. :)

We're In the Single Digits!

Photo by Tim Tab - Taken at our Colorado workshop a few weeks ago

Sometimes when my stomach bubbles and lurches involuntarily, I forget that I'm pregnant and I think it's a raging case of intestinal distress. I think, "WTF did I eat for lunch?" and then remember that it's not something I ate, it's something I'm growing. Although if it were something I ate, it would probably be a lot easier to get out.

And that brings us to...

Less than eight weeks left until my due date, but probably more than eight weeks left until I actually give birth. I've been reading a lot lately, and it turns out that due dates are pretty unscientific. The most accurate dates are the ones guessed at within 6 to 7 weeks of conception. (So my actual due date might be closer to November 3rd.) The accuracy dwindles from there. Supposedly, labor is started by your baby when his lungs are done developing. He releases a hormone that initiates labor. Technically, this doesn't take 40 weeks. It can take anywhere from 37 to 42. So, when your doctor pinpoints your 40 week due date, you can go anywhere from three weeks early to two weeks late and still have a normal term pregnancy. Isn't that great news!

I swear that there should be some sort of post-high school health class for women. This pregnancy thing is such a damn mystery in our culture. We're all taught to believe that birth is on par with having your appendix removed. You make an appointment, go to the hospital, and the doctors fix you. Our active role in labor and delivery has been removed. We're taught to be patients and not women giving birth. It seems so wrong. Women should be given more respect than that. Whether you give birth without any drugs at all, or you have a c-section, there are still so many things you can do to advocate for yourself and your baby to have a great experience. It's okay for you to be in control. I wish women were told that at some point in their lives. Instead, we get movies and TV shows that portray women giving birth who are wild with terror and franticly rushing through hospital corridors, pleading for a doctor to dope them up, yelling at their partners for having penises, etc.

Give me a fucking break. We're better than that.

30 weeks!

I am now officially more than 75% done gestating. I am looking forward to Starbucks and a beer. I've already researched how to safely integrate caffeine and booze back into my diet while breastfeeding.

And that's the end of the breastfeeding talk on this blog. Talking about it creeps me out.

My midsection is freakishly huge. Week by week I have fewer clothes that can cover it. I think I'm down to 6 shirts, 3 skirts, 2 pairs of pants and maybe 4 dresses. 40 years ago that would be an entire wardrobe, but today it's a dire situation. A crisis. Especially since 1/2 of the clothes make me look like a fat fatty and I hate wearing them. I was complaining to my parents about it and I said that I don't want to buy anymore giant clothes to get through the rest of my pregnancy since I only have 10 weeks left. My dad so kindly pointed out, "Well, it's unlikely that you're going to get any smaller between now and then." True, Dad. Very true.

So I start looking for more clothes that fit. And I come across a few maternity things that I can live with, but wait. What's that? Oh crap it's a really awesome leather jacket on clearance that might fit me again by the time we hit 2011. Should I spend $60 on maternity clothes or $60 on a clearance leather jacket that was $300?? The leather jacket will last me a lot longer than 10 weeks.

And now I own a leather jacket.

These are not the actions of a woman who should be preparing for the eminent arrival of a money sucking baby. The price of daycare alone is enough to give me the vapors. But this is the last time in my life that I don't have to put someone else's needs and wellbeing ahead of my own. I have eighteen years of my child's expenses on the horizon so you damn well better believe I bought the jacket.

Speaking of spending money on stuff I shouldn't...

2011 is shaping up to be a really good year for my photography business. I have seven weddings booked and five more contracts out waiting to be signed. The summer is going to be completely chaotic but having real live money in my pocket for the first time since buying a house is going to be great. We might actually have the funds to replace our crapalicious windows and maybe, just maybe, turn the world's scariest laundry room toilet into an honest to goodness bathroom. Oh how I dream...

I finally hit my groove with weddings. They don't completely terrify me anymore. Stressful, yes. Terrifying, no. My skill level has improved a lot over the last four or five too. The biggest thing I had to teach myself was that I am hired by the wedding couple to do a job. I shouldn't worry about whose way I might be in. I was always so preoccupied with being inconspicuous throughout the whole day that I wasn't getting the best shots. Now, I'm not afraid to walk up to the head table and snap a couple photos during toasts. I'll step out on the dance floor during the first dance and get a nice closeup. I'm certainly more confident with what I'm doing. It's made a huge difference.

My dream is still to be able to book an entire year, maybe 25 weddings, and be able to quit my office job. It's going to be tough but I really love doing this. I think I have the ability to make it within the next couple of years. I would love nothing more than to be able to stay home with my kid during the week and still have an awesome, creative career. And then when my kid is old enough to go to school I can hang out all day in my pajamas drinking coffee.

Hell. Yes.

I Am A Living Matryoshka Doll

...Pop me in half and there's a smaller version of me hiding inside.

I'm trying to give up caffeine again and it's killing me. I have had no energy at all. When we were on vacation, I got into the habit of having half a cup of coffee in the morning. Bad idea. All it took was five days and now I'm sufferin. I've had one Diet Coke this week and I feel like a slug. The peak of my patheticness came Wednesday night when I picked up Chinese food after work and we ate dinner in bed. I ate, put my take-out container on the nightstand, rolled over and fell asleep. Seriously. It has not bothered this kid at all though. He's still freaking out like usual. There is a Russian folk dance happening inside my uterus this morning. You know what I'm talking about:



My birthday is next week and I'm going to be 27. By the end of the year I'm going to be 27, married for two years, and someone's mother. When did all this start happening?

Summer Vacation and Growing More Pregnant By the Minute

It officially feels like summer. It's freaking hot, I feel incredibly lazy, we just went on vacation… We went to Estes Park with a side trip to Denver. Word of advice: when the weather is forecasting the hottest day of the year in Denver, you should believe them and not go to Denver. Hello, 102°. Other than that, vacation was awesome. We saw "Body Worlds: The Original Exhibition WE SWEAR" at the Denver science museum. The exhibit was awesome. (And yes, I know I'm about four years late to the party on this.) My favorite parts were seeing what a smoker's lung really looks like and pointing to all the penises. I may be pregnant but that doesn't mean I have to act like someone's mom all the time.

Back in Estes we did the usual stuff. Visited Rocky Mountain National Park (hooray for me not having a panic attack in the car!), toured The Stanley Hotel and fed wild, voracious animals (squirrels) with our bare hands on top of a mountain. I also experienced what it's like to be pregnant at 7500 feet. My hands and feet swelled up like sausages. I was pretty out of breath when we "hiked" the flat ground around a lake at RMNP. It was awesome. I am so happy to be back in an un-elevated city.

Can I get judgey for a minute? When we were in Estes, we walked by a woman on the sidewalk changing her kid's diaper. But wait. Her family was sitting outside the DQ on the window bench enjoying their ice cream. And right next to them on the same bench, in front of people on the street and other people inside the DQ, this woman was cleaning shit off her baby's butt. There was a public bathroom with a changing table about 30 feet away. WTF is up with that? I also saw a family who believed the Huggies commercial when they said that jean diapers double as pants. WHY DO THOSE THINGS EXIST!?!

So, here we are back in Omaha, finishing up July and my fifth month of gestation. I feel huge, like I look way more pregnant than I really am. I'm about 75% sure that's not really the case but still. It's hard not to feel self-conscious when there's a child hanging off your frontside. One thing getting me though all of this, though? Bravo TV. Bethanny Getting Married? has been my saving grace this summer. No matter how neurotic and overwhelmed I feel, I'm the picture of maternal grace compared to that woman. God love her for it, though. She cracks me up. I'm also really proud of her for making it through a whole lot of delivery without any birth classes or yelling and screaming. She made it though something like 12+ hours of labor with just yoga breathing exercises. Good for her!

I've made a couple baby related purchases lately. There was that stroller I got such a good deal on. I put it together and oh lordy - the thing is huge. HUGE! I could probably fit inside it. I also picked out some orange Flor tiles that were on clearance for $4.99 a square. And then we (mainly I) finally decided on a crib and ordered that. I don't know why I put up such a psychotic fit about buying the absolute perfect crib but I did. And then I ended up buying something pretty unspectacular because it matched the bedroom furniture we already own. Eh, story of my life. Freak out for months over something completely inconsequential and then in the end just give up and buy whatever is most convenient/cheapest.

Strollers and Boots

I've gotten into the habit of checking all these kid and baby deal-a-day websites, even subscribing to some via twitter, and it's ruining my life. More specifically, it's ruining the low balance on my credit card. I was doing really good and I only bought some diapers off of one but then today I lost my shit and I spent $325 on a stroller set. But to my credit it was an amazing deal. It's a fancy stroller and infant carrier that is usually $650. (Yes, people spend that kind of money on little buggies to push their toddlers around in.)

Just last night I was looking at some Vivienne Westwood boots online and I said to myself, "$425 is an insane amount of money to spend on boots, even if they were originally $899." Then, BAMM! I spend $325 on a stroller because it's 50% off. It's still an insane amount of money to be spent on anything really, but at least now I'll be one of the trendy moms with the nice stroller when I go out to Village Pointe.

But damn if I wouldn't be the hottest, trendiest mom ever with my fancy stroller and Vivienne Westwood boots.