Avoiding the Mom suit

I've been debating what to do about a swimsuit this year. We go to a pool maybe twice a year so I'm not in dire need of one. But the awesome Nike bikini I bought a couple of years ago might be facing retirement. I lost all my pregnancy weight and I don't have any stretch marks or other gross-to-talk belly issues. But my stomach does look a little... sad. Like my belly button is making a frowny face. And for whatever reason I now have a pinchable bit of ribcage fat that wasn't there before. I feel comfortable clothed and even clothed in tight shirts. But this isn't something I'm ready to bare to the general public. I need bootcamp and a cocktail before that will happen.

I really wanted this because I think it's kind of crazy and retro so people will just think I'm a weirdo and not that I'm hiding something. But I'm not sure I'm ready to admit defeat against my body and the two-piece. Plus, buying a one piece online worries me. If I could try this on before buying it, I would probably end up getting it.

However, I decided to go with a tanikini. But not just any tankini, a Victoria's Secret Miraculous tankini. I've decided that the only logical thing to do while I cling to the remaining years of my 20s is to show as much boob as possible to deter people from looking at the rest of my body.

It will be arriving today and I hope it does not does not disappoint.

UPDATE...

Oh god. It was bad. Its already wrapped back up and waiting to be taken to the post office.