Friday, July 30, 2010

I Am A Living Matryoshka Doll

...Pop me in half and there's a smaller version of me hiding inside.

I'm trying to give up caffeine again and it's killing me. I have had no energy at all. When we were on vacation, I got into the habit of having half a cup of coffee in the morning. Bad idea. All it took was five days and now I'm sufferin. I've had one Diet Coke this week and I feel like a slug. The peak of my patheticness came Wednesday night when I picked up Chinese food after work and we ate dinner in bed. I ate, put my take-out container on the nightstand, rolled over and fell asleep. Seriously. It has not bothered this kid at all though. He's still freaking out like usual. There is a Russian folk dance happening inside my uterus this morning. You know what I'm talking about:

My birthday is next week and I'm going to be 27. By the end of the year I'm going to be 27, married for two years, and someone's mother. When did all this start happening?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Summer Vacation and Growing More Pregnant By the Minute

It officially feels like summer. It's freaking hot, I feel incredibly lazy, we just went on vacation… We went to Estes Park with a side trip to Denver. Word of advice: when the weather is forecasting the hottest day of the year in Denver, you should believe them and not go to Denver. Hello, 102°. Other than that, vacation was awesome. We saw "Body Worlds: The Original Exhibition WE SWEAR" at the Denver science museum. The exhibit was awesome. (And yes, I know I'm about four years late to the party on this.) My favorite parts were seeing what a smoker's lung really looks like and pointing to all the penises. I may be pregnant but that doesn't mean I have to act like someone's mom all the time.

Back in Estes we did the usual stuff. Visited Rocky Mountain National Park (hooray for me not having a panic attack in the car!), toured The Stanley Hotel and fed wild, voracious animals (squirrels) with our bare hands on top of a mountain. I also experienced what it's like to be pregnant at 7500 feet. My hands and feet swelled up like sausages. I was pretty out of breath when we "hiked" the flat ground around a lake at RMNP. It was awesome. I am so happy to be back in an un-elevated city.

Can I get judgey for a minute? When we were in Estes, we walked by a woman on the sidewalk changing her kid's diaper. But wait. Her family was sitting outside the DQ on the window bench enjoying their ice cream. And right next to them on the same bench, in front of people on the street and other people inside the DQ, this woman was cleaning shit off her baby's butt. There was a public bathroom with a changing table about 30 feet away. WTF is up with that? I also saw a family who believed the Huggies commercial when they said that jean diapers double as pants. WHY DO THOSE THINGS EXIST!?!

So, here we are back in Omaha, finishing up July and my fifth month of gestation. I feel huge, like I look way more pregnant than I really am. I'm about 75% sure that's not really the case but still. It's hard not to feel self-conscious when there's a child hanging off your frontside. One thing getting me though all of this, though? Bravo TV. Bethanny Getting Married? has been my saving grace this summer. No matter how neurotic and overwhelmed I feel, I'm the picture of maternal grace compared to that woman. God love her for it, though. She cracks me up. I'm also really proud of her for making it through a whole lot of delivery without any birth classes or yelling and screaming. She made it though something like 12+ hours of labor with just yoga breathing exercises. Good for her!

I've made a couple baby related purchases lately. There was that stroller I got such a good deal on. I put it together and oh lordy - the thing is huge. HUGE! I could probably fit inside it. I also picked out some orange Flor tiles that were on clearance for $4.99 a square. And then we (mainly I) finally decided on a crib and ordered that. I don't know why I put up such a psychotic fit about buying the absolute perfect crib but I did. And then I ended up buying something pretty unspectacular because it matched the bedroom furniture we already own. Eh, story of my life. Freak out for months over something completely inconsequential and then in the end just give up and buy whatever is most convenient/cheapest.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Strollers and Boots

I've gotten into the habit of checking all these kid and baby deal-a-day websites, even subscribing to some via twitter, and it's ruining my life. More specifically, it's ruining the low balance on my credit card. I was doing really good and I only bought some diapers off of one but then today I lost my shit and I spent $325 on a stroller set. But to my credit it was an amazing deal. It's a fancy stroller and infant carrier that is usually $650. (Yes, people spend that kind of money on little buggies to push their toddlers around in.)

Just last night I was looking at some Vivienne Westwood boots online and I said to myself, "$425 is an insane amount of money to spend on boots, even if they were originally $899." Then, BAMM! I spend $325 on a stroller because it's 50% off. It's still an insane amount of money to be spent on anything really, but at least now I'll be one of the trendy moms with the nice stroller when I go out to Village Pointe.

But damn if I wouldn't be the hottest, trendiest mom ever with my fancy stroller and Vivienne Westwood boots.