My Guide to Wack Proof Skin

Taking care of my skin is very important to me. It's the only epidermis I get and I intend to take care of it. As I'm sure we all know, skin damage in your twenties creeps up in your forties. I don't know about you, but I will do everything in my non-surgical power to stay looking like a nineteen year old until I'm sixty.

I have some of the most sensitive skin known to mankind. It's fair, dry, acne prone, rash prone, burn prone. Pretty much everything. It took a loooong time to find products that work with my skin type. I'm pretty anal about using only these products. Any old hand lotion is usually okay, but the rest of my skin is such a mess that I don't risk it. So here you go:

My Guide to Wack Proof Skin



1. Aveeno Active Naturals Daily Moisturizing Lotion

I spent years looking for a lotion that would take care of my itchy, Nebraska winter skin while NOT giving me hives. It was tough, but after countless rashes I made my way to the Aveeno. Problem solved! I've been using it for several years and it never fails me even in the dead of January when the air is about as dry as Death Valley around here. It contains oatmeal which is a natural moisturizer somehow or another. I don't know the science, I just know it works great.

2. Vermont's Original Bag Balm

Ever since I was a child, the back of my hands get so dry that they crack. Gross? Yes. Inconvenient and painful? Double yes. When your hands get that dry, most lotions you find in drugstores burn like hell. As a kid I used to have to put on some crazy prescription cream and then wear tube socks over my hands around the house. Not exactly cool when you're seven. This stuff works wonders on dry, cracked skin. I wrote about it here. It's also fantastic for the bottoms of your feet, minor burns and scrapes, and you can use it on the dog.

3. Keri Renewal Serum

Yet another area of my body that gets ridiculously dry: My face. Except my face has that really awesome combination of dry yet zit prone. (Hooray for being 25 and still breaking out like a teenager! Seriously, when is this going to end? I've put in my time. Thirteen years of breakouts is enough already.) So, that's what I'm dealing with. I need a substantial moisturizer that isn't heavy and greasy. This again was trial and error. Oh heavens, the errors... My dad actually told me about this stuff. Go figure. The last person on Earth who I would ask for beauty advice and he's the one with the answers. This stuff leaves my skin moisturized and feeling clean year round.

4. Aveeno Active Naturals Continuous Protection Sunblock

Sunburning and sunblock are a never ending problem for me. Going without sunblock is never an option for me. Honestly, it shouldn't be an option for anyone, but stupid Coco Chanel accidentally got tanned on a cruise and ever since it's been chic to give yourself sun damage. The problem for me isn't finding a sunblock that works. Pretty much any brand of sunblock will do the trick. The problem is finding one that doesn't give me hives or a breakout. I figured that since the Aveeno lotion worked so well, the Aveeno sunblock should too. And it does!

5. Neutrogena Healthy Defense SPF 30 Daily Moisturizer

The only negative thing about the Keri Renewal Serum is that it contains some kind of alpha-photo-whatever that makes your skin prone to burning easier. For me, that's the equivalent of rubbing my face directly on the surface of the sun. Really, we should all be using sunblock on our faces so it was just another reason to start doing it. I researched some moisturizers and ended up going with this one. Again, it does what it's supposed to do without feeling greasy and giving me pimples. It's a broad spectrum UVA/UVB sunblock and a believe it's approved by the American Cancer Society.

6. J.R. Watkins Apothecary Red Clover Hand and Cuticle Salve

I like to have nice nails and nice cuticles. This stuff is great for mini manis at home. It makes my cuticles look great. It's pretty greasy and takes a while to absorb into the skin (it even says that on the label) so I usually use it at home while I'm watching TV. And the smell of it? Insane. I want perfume that smells like this stuff.

6% More Effort, 60% More Awesome

My hair is longer now than it has been in probably the last two years. I'm really bad (i.e. lazy) at styling it so most days involve a five minute blow-dry and a ponytail. During the summer I air-dry in the car on the way to work. The days I do blow-dry it to completion it just kind of hangs there all flat and pathetic. It's the Debby Downer of hair.

Start to finish, my morning routine takes forty-five minutes and I'm not too keen on extending it with hair time. But, the prospect of having sort of nice hair was tempting me so I went to the beauty store and bought a bunch of hair junk yesterday. I got another thing of dry shampoo (for those exceptionally lazy mornings), a bottle of spray root lifter and some velcro rollers.

This morning I root lifted before blow-drying. Then I velcro rolled after blow drying. I let the rollers stay in for about ten minutes and bam! I had some volume! It was well worth the extra three minutes I spent on my hair this morning. Velcro rollers are crazy easy to use and actually work. Why didn't someone tell me this before? I was marveled by them.

Definitely worth the $2.98 investment I made in them.

Miracle in a Jar

I have some crazy sensitive skin. Ever since I was a little kid I've had problems with it. I get rashes, hives, eczema, skin so dry it cracks. It's quite sexy. Winter is the worst time of year for it. My hands suffer the worst. No matter how much lotion I put on them, they're still dry and chapped.

Growing up we always had this stuff called "bag balm" that worked wonders. If you're not familiar with it, bag balm is exactly what it sounds like. It's a balm that was originally made for cow utters. My dad grew up on a farm so everyone in our family knows about the miraculous properties of bag balm. It works on dry skin and small cuts and scrapes on both people and animals. It's sort of like hardcore Neosporin that you can use on the dog. Well, it works extremely well on dry hands. I put some on last night and within ten minutes my skin was soft and smooth.



I would recommend everyone who lives in a dry, blistery climate pick some up. The only places I've found it at are Target and Walgreens. But I'm sure places like CVS and your local feed and grain store sell it too.

I think it's worth mentioning that the bag balm my sister and I grew up with is nothing like the bag balm pictured above. The kind we're used to comes mysteriously out of a Vaseline jar. It's also an uneven shade of brown and smells like an old folks home. I think it was left over from when my dad's family sold the farm in the 1960s. I guess it's also worth mentioning that the stuff keeps for 40 plus years.

I can no longer hate you Sephora.

I discovered something last night that can almost be called a miracle. It permits me to spend even less time getting ready for work (or anything else that involves being seen outside of my home).

Dry Shampoo.

Two reasons why this is so great:
1. I can save my dye jobs by not washing my hair every morning.
2. I can save myself the torture of washing and blow-drying every morning.
2.a. That makes me feel sort of European.

Am I the last person on Earth to learn about dry shampoo, or is it a generally well kept secret that this stuff is awesome? I really wanted to order Bumble and Bumble's dry shampoo after reading about it, but it was $40. Not only do I hate spending time on my hair but I'm also cheap. So, I broke my solemn vow to never step foot inside a Sephora and I bought some from them. I think Sephora is kind of a B.S. store, a lot like Victoria's Secret. I dislike both of those places equally. I shouldn't have to have a reason why.

I found the "Dry Shampoo" aisle which reminded me a lot of the "Dirty Leper" aisle. Here's this bright and glossy store full of things to make you pretty, and I'm picking around in the aisle that's going to assist me in washing my hair less. The salesgirl seemed annoyed when I asked her which one I should by and she didn't really give me an answer. She said, "Well, people seem to like this one," and pointed at a brand called Ojon. Then she promptly walked away. So, I bought a travel size of the one she kind of pointed to in case it sucked and I hated it.

I was so excited to try it out this morning. I wasn't sure it was going to work since I own the greasiest head of hair you've ever seen in your life. But damn, if it isn't shiny. I sprayed some around the front (greasiest spot by far) and combed it though. And you know what? The greasiness vanished. I put it in a ponytail to avoid having to straighten it after rubbing my head on a pillow all night, and I took what might have been a 90 second shower. I was at work by 8:00 this morning for the first time in... ever.

I didn't put enough in though because I wasn't too sure what I was doing, so I'm getting a little slimy around my hairline. But you can bet I'm going home tonight and spraying more on. I wonder how long I can keep piling this stuff on? The benefits of integrating this stuff into my life could be endless. I can now add "not washing my hair" to the list of "not wearing makeup" and "refusing to shave more than once bi-weekly." I am such a babe. The only down side is that the spray kind of smells like an old lady. Not bad old lady, but like Aquanet and Chantilly perfume.

So, Ojon. Go buy some.