This thing is amazing! It's a 2-in-1 measuring cup and scale, priced at $29.99. Some baking recipes measure dry ingredients like flour by weight not quantity because of settling, so this would come in handy. Click here for info on where to find it!
Is everyone familiar with the "single girl behaviors" conversation from that one episode of Sex and the City? It's the one where they all confess the strange things they do when no one is around to witness it. Things like staring at your pores in a magnifying mirror, eating crackers while standing and reading fashion magazines... They aren't truly strange Buffalo Bill type things, just things of a particular nature that you aren't necessarily proud to be caught doing. The conversation in the movie is that they're all living with men/husbands and they're afraid of having their significant others witness their strange habits.
I understand this feeling completely. I lived alone for four years before moving in with my husband (then boyfriend) and his three roommates. (We lived there for six months before buying our house. At that point, living with only one man felt like living in a spa.) We're obviously now married and are one of those couples who share a complete disregard for other person's privacy and boundaries. The bathroom may as well not have a lock, let alone a door. We talk about our bodily functions in a fashion that would make my grandparents blush. We use horrifying language. It's the sort of disgusting living arrangement that can only occur after you've sworn to love each other despite all the things you're going to witness throughout your lifetime together.
It's incredibly romantic.
But even with all the raw, freakish openness that we share, there are still those things in life that I will not do while he's around.
-I walk the aisles of Target for hours. -I eat cheese dip and chips in bed while watching girl movies. -I try on all the dresses in my closet. -I trim my cuticles.
It's not so much because I don't want him to see them, but because I cherish them. They're mine. My little idiosyncrasies that I hold on to because I am still an independent woman, regardless of my marital status.
I happen to be in a marriage with a man who travels quite a bit for a living. Ten months will go by without him traveling, then he'll be gone for six weeks. I certainly don't think it's an accident that I married a man whose heart leads him to travel around the country. He was born a nomad in a nomadic military family. He never stayed in one place as a kid. And now, as an adult, he gets antsy if he doesn't move around.
And then there's me. Living alone for those four years taught me how to do just that - live alone. I hated it at first. But after the first year or so I grew accustomed to it. I started to look forward to my solo nights in. I would cook myself junk food for dinner, watch brain-rotting TV, drink wine, do my nails. I would go to Borders and sit on the floor reading magazines on a Saturday night. I learned how to be with myself. I think it's a very important thing to be able to do in life.
So, here we are. The nomad and the loner, married and in love. I definitely don't always enjoy the fact that he's gone. After two days I start to feel homesick in my own home. Even the dog gets depressed when Matt's gone. But I survive it. I let my heart miss him, but I continue to live my life. We've struck a delicate balance within our marriage. We depend on each other, but we aren't dependent on each other. We lean on each other, but we aren't crutches that hold one another up. I wholeheartedly believe that successful spouses have to maintain some autonomy in their marriage, while still being a part of a team.
Marriage does not fix loneliness. It does not fix insecurities. It does not fix depression. I think in some ways it magnifies those things. You have to enter into your partnership with a happy heart or else it will fall apart from the inside out. I don't think a lot of people understand that. You have to be in love with you in order for someone else to be in love with you. It might sound cliche but it's very true. You have to own your strange single-person behaviors and be proud of them. You should enjoy those little slices of yourself and be proud of your independent ladiness.
I've decided that I MUST save money for a new Zeiss lens to badassify my camera for weddings in the fall. I need a high quality zoom lens for shooting. The best lens I have is my 50mm, which I love so much I would marry it, but it's not really a convenient at-all-times lens. When I'm trying to get a nice close up shot of someone standing at the alter, I don't think the bride and groom want me hoovering twelve inches in front of their faces. It might be a little... oh distracting maybe?
So, I'm going to save for a Zeiss lens. Which is a lot of saving to be done in three months. To expedite the process, I'm putting myself on a Walmart diet. I am not allowing myself within 100 yards of a Target until I have enough cash in my pocket to buy it. I shouldn't be able to breath the crack-laced Target air from outside that range.
This last weekend was a good one! Friday night Matt and I hung out with new people and ate some amazing homemade Creole food. Gumbo, red beans, cornbread, fried catfish, okra, crawfish etouffee. It was unbelievable. The food was particularly authentic because we ate it in a house without air-conditioning, on a night that was probably 90+ degrees. It was sweaty and miserable, just like being in NOLA!!!
I stayed sober Friday night so I could get up and run on Saturday morning. (Example #317 that I'm getting old and dull.) Jen and I ran 6ish miles in 60 minutes, which is putting us at a really great pace for the 1/2 marathon. It was ungodly hot at 8:30 in the morning and we stopped for water 3 times, so we were both blown away by our overall time. NICE!
I then edited 50+ wedding pictures and an entire senior session, cleaned my office, and geeked out looking at office supplies at Target. OMG - Target sells French Bull supplies. Someone help me... It's gotten to where I'm so excited about working at home that I'm asking my parents for business accouterments for my birthday. (Example #318.) I also worked out a plan to get some really awesome business cards and wedding handouts taken care of in one shot. I want something that's a little different than just a business card but doesn't look gimmicky or cheesy. I think I have a good idea and it's not something that I've seen anywhere already. It's also time and money efficient which is concern numero uno since I'm spending every penny I make on my business at the moment. Well okay, every penny I make minus a few pennies that I spent on a Betsey Johnson dress last week. But hello, 85% off, who could pass that up even if they are technically broke?
That just about rounds out my productivity. Unless of course "productive" can be defined by watching most of the first season of Weeds on DVD in one afternoon.
I'm working on getting through about 10 sessions that are sitting on my computer at home. I feel like I need to take a vacation from work so I can stay home and work! It's fantastic though. I've had to start turning down website jobs because there's just not enough time for me to get everything done. I already work two or three hours when I come home every evening.
I'm at the point right now where I want to concentrate on my own business and my own career, and not worry about other people's for once. Aside from photo editing I have a bizzilion other things I should be doing. Create print materials, updating my website, fixing up my business' Facebook page all nice like, networking like hell...
Just some thoughts since I'm too scattered right now to focus...
I turn 26 in a couple of weeks and it's got me thinking about stuff I never thought I would like when I was younger...
Hot tea J. Crew Fleetwood Mac Marriage Beer
I'm nervous because my car is making noise. It sounds like there's a helicopter under the hood. I'm praying a couple quarts of oil will make the sound go away. If not, I'm praying it doesn't explode.
I bought a completely ridiculous Betsey Johnson ring last weekend. It's a bright green snake that wraps around my middle finger. I felt bad about it until my husband called me and told me that he found an acoustic guitar he wanted to buy. I then contemplated going back and buying a matching ridiculous necklace.
Speaking of my husband, I hung out with him and a bunch of his rock star buddies on Saturday. They're all young and lacking responsibilities like children and mortgages so they party a lot. I did my best to keep up with the whipper snappers. I hung in until around 3:30, at which point I pretended to use the bathroom and poured my last beer down the drain so we could go home and just go to bed already... It was one of those nights where everything just falls into place and everyone has a really great time. I was exhausted but still sorry to see the night end.
I have three shoots this week. A couple of them are serious fun. One is a shoot I'm forcing Matt into doing which will either be fantastic or freakin cheesy, and the other is a wild bridal portrait with a hippie friend and some of her "bridesmaids." I think it's going to be awesome.
My photography blog is where I appear to be a professional person who knows what they're doing.
This blog is where I tell the truth.
I photographed an entire wedding on Saturday and I left the reception feeling like a complete failure. It was a day so terrifying and exhausting I fear having to do it again. Seriously, I'm afraid to photograph another one after the first one. I know the first time doing anything is hard and sometimes shitty, so I'm just trying to keep reminding myself that it can only get better from here.
I learned that I seriously need to learn to use my flash. Who in their right minds photographs a reception without knowing how to use a flash??? This girl apparently. I thought I could get by with the available light in the hall, but then they turned off the available light and I was left with lighting from a string of Christmas lights and a window.
It was bad.
I got by for the most part using my 50mm 1.4 lens and my ISO cranked about as high as possible, which is so very unkosher. I didn't know what else to do though. I used the flash on some shots and they were freaking horrible. I stuck to the low-light lens and prayed that I got some in focus. It worked for the most part but there are some that are really grainy due to the ISO. It was certainly a learning experience.
Matt and I impulse-booked a trip to Chicago today. Or rather, I impulse-booked and he gave his approval with a text message that simply said, "K." I was searching around looking for a good concert to go see for our anniversary and I found Brendan Benson in Chicago, playing at some bar for $15. Pardon me? $15?
I'll take two.
Then I found a ridiculously cheap hotel within walking distance of the show, so I snatched that up too. It's been a while since I've been to Chicago so I'm looking forward to it. I'm also equally excited to stop in Amana on the way home and buy cheese, jelly and blackberry wine. Bless those dear European settlers and their quaint tourist attractions.
I also found this today and it made me laugh.
I used to live with a guy who looks exactly like Ringo. Sometimes he would wear a hat and ride his bike and then he would really look like Ringo. One night when we were all drunk, he got his bike and hat out to make us laugh and probably impress a girl. He rode down the hill in our front yard and ran straight into a parked car, flipping over the hood and landing in the street. He dented the hell out of the neighbor's car. It was one of the top five funniest things I've ever seen.
Wow. So, it's been a while since I posted on here.
Things have been sort of manic lately. Work completely blows right now. My department at work is slowly being eliminated so everyday I cross my fingers that *today* I might finally be handed a severance package and get escorted from the building. I'm taking the possibility of losing my job as the final step in my push to be a photographer full-time. Well, maybe a photographer/waitress/school para. Or whatever part time job I can get in this economy.
Let's all pause to roll our eyes at the economy talk, yet again.
The huge pain in the tuchus at this point though is that I'm ready for the transition (sort of) and I'm ready to move on with my life, but I'm stuck waiting for that rotten severance. It doesn't make any sense to quit mere weeks before they plan on letting me go. I'd be out at least six weeks of additional pay. And right now that money is pretty necessary.
Tomorrow I have a senior portrait, then this weekend I have two weddings, and next week I'm meeting with a wedding cake bakery to talk about networking and industry whatnot. I am seriously excited. I'm hoping that after I get a couple of these weddings done I'll be able to add wedding booking information to my site and get going on this!