I'm 5 Months Pregnant!

Hey there, week 22! I have officially made it to five months. Hallelujah. I can't wait for this kid to be here already. We found out last week that we're having a boy. We weren't at all surprised. It felt like one of those things that we'd always known. But since now we had medical confirmation of our hunch we went and registered for some baby stuff.

OMG everyone... Babies R Us will suck your soul dry. I'm warning you now. Of course I had been to a Toys R Us before, but not a Babies R Us. (Commonly referred to as BRU by moms in the know.) That store is aisle after aisle of pastel colored baby garbage. I turned to Matt and asked, "This stuff is gross. Where's the hipster baby aisle?" After a few minutes of stunned, overwhelmed wandering he finally pointed out that we're registering for things for a baby, not ourselves. The baby isn't going to care what his crib sheets look like. Yes. Point taken. Still though, we registered for the tuxedo bib and the peace sign sleep sack. The baby might not care, but I still have to be the one seen in public with him. I don't want him embarrassing me with his lack of style.

And then we have to deal with the nursery... It started to get cleaned out, then it filled back up with random furniture and junk. So, we've made pretty much no progress on it. Our initial goal was to have it empty and ready for decorating by Memorial Day. Now our goal is 4th of July weekend. And if that doesn't happen, then our next goal is early August when we have a shower at our house.

And if that doesn't happen, my parents will be finishing the nursery while I'm delivering at the hospital.

Week 18

Week 18 is here. My list of pregnancy complaints has been whittled down to one large and serious complaint:

Three day holiday weekends without booze are boring. (Although the lack of hangovers is kind of nice.)

But on the upside, this last week I discovered a really awesome pregnancy perk. Everyone I know has been telling me how cute I look pregnant! I don't think it's so much a reflection of the way I really look, because I'm dressing myself and doing my hair and makeup the same way I always do. (Which is sloppy and in a constant rush.) I think it's more of a reflection of the way people view pregnant women. Like, "OMG you're not fat and sloppy! You look SO GOOD!"

I went to a small party Friday night and a friend I don't see too often was essentially saying that he thinks it's great that I'm not "letting myself go" during pregnancy. He didn't use those exact words, he's much more tactful than that. But that was the paraphrased version of the compliment. Someone else said that I'm taking a very "European" approach to pregnancy. Chic dresses, heels, going out at night.

WTF are these people talking about?

I'm putting approximately 2% more effort into getting ready everyday. That's it. I'm not following some magical pregnant lady routine to keep myself fresh and cheery while carrying around a fetus. This is essentially the way I always look (minus pants because I can't fit into any of mine), however, never before have I received so many compliments. This leads me to the conclusion that the effort I put into my pre-knockedup appearance is considered subpar for a non-pregnant woman and is thus completely unremarkable.

Thanks, society.

I'm hoping that the transition from "pregnant" to "new mom" garners me as many compliments. In theory, it should. If the bar is lowered from non-pregnant to pregnant, then it should be lowered to the floor for new moms. If I can slap on some mascara and put on a bra every morning it will hopefully blow peoples' minds into telling me how amazing I look for just having a baby. If all goes well, I can hopefully ride that wave of illusion into age 30, at which point people will be astounded that I'm the mother of a toddler.

Can I keep this going until my child is in high school? Maybe even for the rest of my life?

But what if the reverse happens and my normal sloppy morning routine is now seen as an indication that I completely lost my shit as a mother? Instead of "OMG, SO GOOD!" will I now look like a haggard soccer mom? Crap. I'm going to have to get extensions and start hitting up the MAC counter, aren't I?

Found It!

I went to the last maternity store in Omaha to look for clothes. And by "last" I mean "second of two." It was a failure. Everything was cute but so expensive. Tank tops were $60 and the cheapest pair of jeans was $105.

But then last night I found where all the cute, affordable maternity clothes are hiding.

Europe.

I came across the UK clothing website ASOS and wouldn't ya know, they sell maternity clothes. Plus, they have an online clearance outlet with clothes starting at $5! I bought three tops and after shipping only spent $46.



Overstock.com also has some pretty affordable maternity clothes. They have jeans and tops starting at $20. I grabbed a green dress, capris and a pair of jeans that were originally $180! Who on earth besides a Spice Girl would spend $180 on maternity jeans? That's insane.

Assuming everything fits, I think I might be set for the second trimester. Which is a good feeling. I think Matt is getting tired of seeing me in pajama pants and Rolling Stone t-shirts every day.

15 Weeks and New Furniture

Welcome to pregnancy, week 15. It is much like pregnancy weeks 12-14, but with a slightly bigger ass. My weight hasn't really changed since I was 18. Sure, there was that period freshman year of college where Smirnoff Ice and Runza took it's temporary toll, but other than that I haven't gained this much weight... ever.

Yes, I'm pregnant. Yes, this is supposed to be happening. But my god it is bizarre. I think I've gained somewhere between 6 and 8 pounds so far. (I didn't have a scale pre-pregnancy so I'm just guessing based on what I *think* I weighed before.) According to baby charts that's pretty on track with what I should be gaining... but it's still weird. I put on an old pair of jeans and a tee yesterday for lunch with my husband's family and I looked like a sausage about to burst from it's casing.

Jeans are officially sidelined for the time being.

The strangest thing about pregnancy weight-gain is (obviously) that it's not evenly dispersed. It all piles up in certain areas. The butt is a little bigger, the tummy is bulging, and the boobs have no place left to go.

Obvious statement of the year: Pregnancy makes you feel so round!

In other news, we had some bedroom furniture delivered this weekend and the bedroom looks so fucking nice now! It looks like mature, responsible adults live in it. Unfortunately though, the nursery is still an office, and the studio is still a room full of crap. Those rooms are a package deal though. They both need to be emptied and rearranged at the same time. And that time was not this past weekend. Hopefully we can manage to get it done this week because my studio gear is being delivered today and I can't wait to get it set up and find some babies to photograph!

Dressing Myself - A Daily Challenge

Finding clothes to wear is becoming an everyday challenge. My pants do not button so I'm rockin a belly band. My skirts all make my growing ass look a little too bodacious. Most of my dresses require that I have a waistline. My regular tees are now belly tees (and not the sexy kind of belly tees either).

Sigh.

I've only bought a few new things so far. A couple cheapo tops and then a nice Anthro dress and some Gap boyfriend jeans that are a size too big. The dress is awesome because it has an extra little V of fabric in the front that expands and the jeans are awesome because they're jeans and they button. I had them on last weekend with a pair of fancy heels, a ruffled tank and a long pearl necklace and the only thing I could think about while looking at my outfit was the Sex and the City movie. Then I went and changed. But my point is that both the dress and the jeans will still be nice to have once I'm done gestating this kid, therefore I didn't worry about spending money on them.






But that brings me to my major beef with maternity stores. They're way overpriced and a lot of the stuff they sell is... not in good taste. (Someone please fucking shoot me.) A Pea in the Pod has nice stuff, but if I wasn't going to pay $279 for a pair or jeans before, I'm sure as hell not going to now. So I thought to myself, where do the broke chicks on 16 and Pregnant shop for maternity clothes? Ahh, Forever 21! They have good stuff there! I checked it out online and where better to buy tunics and big butt skirts I'll never want to look at again after October? I can get an entire 2nd trimester wardrobe from that store for like $99!

I'm going out of order here, but you know what else is really funny about 16 and Pregnant other than the entire concept of that show? The fact that these girls claim to their baby daddies that they couldn't work for nine months because they were pregnant. Really? Are you serious? You couldn't stand behind a McDonald's counter for the last nine months because OMG you were pregnant and couldn't remain vertical for three hours after school? Whatever. If there's anything positive to say about teen pregnancy it's that those girls' bodies are prime for carrying babies. I doubt a lot of them really have issues with being able to work typical teenage jobs. Plus none of them get that fat and then they're all hot again six weeks postpartum.

Judgment over.

Hello, Meat!

Pregnant Christine and Non-meat Eating Christine could not exist together in one body. I caved into meat (specifically bacon) around week six into the baby growing process.

What started out as a 4 week experiment turned into a 128 day lifestyle challenge. And it was going great.

Until the "morning" sickness hit.

During week four I was feeling great, tempting fate, and believing that superior baby-carrying genes from my mother (a woman who should teach classes on being a Midwestern super mom) made me impervious to morning sickness. In fact, I didn't totally believe in morning sickness. I started to think it was some crazy rumor that women perpetuated for access to unlimited spousal sympathy and ungodly amounts of ice cream. But oh, how I was mistaken.

Before getting knocked up my meal favorites were always beans, green things and eggs. Matt was out of town so I went to the grocery store and stocked up on all my favorites. YUMMY! About two days after buying it all, my hormones lurched into overdrive and even opening the fridge made me gag. LITERALLY. The smell of leafy greens is, at this point in my life, the worst smell in the world. I had bags of lettuce, celery, spinach, spinach dip and spinach wraps. Opening the fridge released it all into the kitchen and made me want to barf. And lets not talk about the beans and eggs. My throat closes up at the thought of it all.

It all went into the trash, untouched. There was no time to feel guilty over throwing out all that fresh, perfectly fine food. It. Needed. To. Go.

In the meantime, I couldn't stop thinking about fried chicken. None of this was looking good for the non-meaty challenge. For a week all I ate was some combination of cheese and carbs.

Mac and cheese
Cheese bread
Cheese quesadilla
Cheese pizza

Meat needed to come back. I neeeeeeeeeded it. I completely understand that it is possible for ladies to have wonderful, healthy pregnancies on vegetarian diets. But I'm not one of those ladies. I needed bacon, chicken and hotdogs. And now that I'm eating it again I feel like I'm having an easier time balancing my meals. Not having those gag-inducing items at the center of my plate makes it easier to stomach them. I still have a major issue with leafy green things but I'm finding other vegetables that I can stand.

I still think that animal production is bad the the environment and bad for our health. I still think the way meat is processed is alarming and disgusting. I feel bad about eating it, but I'm eating it. You can judge accordingly.