Tuesday, August 24, 2010

30 weeks!

I am now officially more than 75% done gestating. I am looking forward to Starbucks and a beer. I've already researched how to safely integrate caffeine and booze back into my diet while breastfeeding.

And that's the end of the breastfeeding talk on this blog. Talking about it creeps me out.

My midsection is freakishly huge. Week by week I have fewer clothes that can cover it. I think I'm down to 6 shirts, 3 skirts, 2 pairs of pants and maybe 4 dresses. 40 years ago that would be an entire wardrobe, but today it's a dire situation. A crisis. Especially since 1/2 of the clothes make me look like a fat fatty and I hate wearing them. I was complaining to my parents about it and I said that I don't want to buy anymore giant clothes to get through the rest of my pregnancy since I only have 10 weeks left. My dad so kindly pointed out, "Well, it's unlikely that you're going to get any smaller between now and then." True, Dad. Very true.

So I start looking for more clothes that fit. And I come across a few maternity things that I can live with, but wait. What's that? Oh crap it's a really awesome leather jacket on clearance that might fit me again by the time we hit 2011. Should I spend $60 on maternity clothes or $60 on a clearance leather jacket that was $300?? The leather jacket will last me a lot longer than 10 weeks.

And now I own a leather jacket.

These are not the actions of a woman who should be preparing for the eminent arrival of a money sucking baby. The price of daycare alone is enough to give me the vapors. But this is the last time in my life that I don't have to put someone else's needs and wellbeing ahead of my own. I have eighteen years of my child's expenses on the horizon so you damn well better believe I bought the jacket.

Speaking of spending money on stuff I shouldn't...

2011 is shaping up to be a really good year for my photography business. I have seven weddings booked and five more contracts out waiting to be signed. The summer is going to be completely chaotic but having real live money in my pocket for the first time since buying a house is going to be great. We might actually have the funds to replace our crapalicious windows and maybe, just maybe, turn the world's scariest laundry room toilet into an honest to goodness bathroom. Oh how I dream...

I finally hit my groove with weddings. They don't completely terrify me anymore. Stressful, yes. Terrifying, no. My skill level has improved a lot over the last four or five too. The biggest thing I had to teach myself was that I am hired by the wedding couple to do a job. I shouldn't worry about whose way I might be in. I was always so preoccupied with being inconspicuous throughout the whole day that I wasn't getting the best shots. Now, I'm not afraid to walk up to the head table and snap a couple photos during toasts. I'll step out on the dance floor during the first dance and get a nice closeup. I'm certainly more confident with what I'm doing. It's made a huge difference.

My dream is still to be able to book an entire year, maybe 25 weddings, and be able to quit my office job. It's going to be tough but I really love doing this. I think I have the ability to make it within the next couple of years. I would love nothing more than to be able to stay home with my kid during the week and still have an awesome, creative career. And then when my kid is old enough to go to school I can hang out all day in my pajamas drinking coffee.

Hell. Yes.