Do you come here often?

I went out with a couple of lady friends last night to see a local band play. I was sitting at the bar and a man... let's just say he was unattractive in the most general and complete sense... hit on me. I informed him that I was married, to which he asked if I had a kid. (Because married is okay but being a mother is a deal breaker?) I told him yes and he replied - and this is golden - "Well, you've still got it because I find you attractive. I hope I made you feel good about yourself tonight." 

Ya. Thanks. Being someone's mom makes me feel like a total hag but THANK GOD you came along and made me feel better about myself. He actually made me feel terrible. I thought, really? That's all the ass I can pull these days? Good thing I married the hottest guy I ever dated because, obviously, I was never going to do any better. 

A little glimpse of success in this parenting thing

Matt and I take turns waking up in the morning with Lennon. Today was my day to take morning duty. When he started crying at 5:30am (poor kid pooped his pants) my first reaction was "Noooo!" And then I realized there was poop involved and my reaction changed to "Fuuuuuuck!" We ate some breakfast and then I turned on the TV and naturally, because I'm a good mom, I picked Wayne's World for us to watch. 

Then this happened:

Lennon asked for me to pick him up (asking = hands making grabby motions) and he sat down in my lap on the couch. After a few minutes, he scooted off my lap and laid down on the couch. I laid down next to him, put my arms around his adorable little body, and we cuddled and watched TV. It was the first time he's ever done that. It was one of the best moments of my life. 

Resolutions

I'm working on a few new resolutions in conjunction with the new year and new job. I feel like I really need to work on my communication skills. In business, I'm terrible about answering emails in a timely manner and I am turrrrible (say that in a Cleveland voice) about answering voicemails. I freaking hate voicemails. I need emails so I have written documents for sessions and weddings. Working things out over the phone leaves way too much room for someone to forget something. (Someone = me.) And when someone emails me and then immediately leaves me a voicemail to say that they've emailed me... Well, you're going straight into the trash folder. Those people are high maintenance and usually cause problems so I ignore them.

See? Major communication issues.

And in my personal life I'm even worse. My friends aren't going to give me a bad review on WeddingWire if I don't answer their emails right away so I usually flag them for "later" and then forget about it for 3 weeks. And then it seems too late to answer without looking like a jerk, so I just let it sit there and make me feel guilty. I'm bad about texting too. My parents, sister and husband are the only people who are guaranteed to get return texts. I'm just a flake and I'm bad at relationships. Always have been. I'm a lifelong loner and retaining friendships over long periods of time isn't an easy thing for me. I don't fall out of like with my friends. We don't fight. Nothing goes wrong. The only explanation is that part of me simply doesn't care. It doesn't really bother me to be isolated from people so I let my friends sort of drift away without making any attempt to keep them. It's a pretty shitty personal trait.

Other resolutions:

Stop shopping - Even though I'm buying a new couch today.
Take a vacation - The goal is Iceland but the reality is Minneapolis.
Work out bigger business goals for 2013 - I'm starting to think about finding my own studio.

Finally. 2012.

Hey ole blog! So, here's what's been going on:

My plan to quit my job in March 2012 got bumped up when I had a complete meltdown in October and decided to leave work at Thanksgiving. Best. Decision. Ever. Between the wedding album orders rolling in, all my fall weddings, and families getting photos done for the holidays, I was working at least 60 hours a week. It took until Christmas to catch up on everything.

And then Christmas happened. Or rather Day of Epic Disappointment happened. The plan was to host Christmas with my family for the first time ever so I went a little crazy. I bought holiday plates, table cloths, decorations for the house, $200 worth of food... And then I spent Christmas day hunched over the toilet. My family couldn't come over because my grandparents are in their 90s and can't afford being sick. I crawled out of the bathroom to watch Lennon open his presents and then I went back to bed and slept until December 26th. Wouldn't you know it, the next day I was totally fine.

I'm more than ready for the holidays to be over. It really feels like my new life is starting in 2012. There's no office to go back to, no shitty career that I don't like. When I go to a wedding, it feels like I'm going to work. I go and I work my ass off and I bring home a paycheck. It's good stuff.