Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm Just Not That Into It

I watched He's Just Not That Into You last weekend. If this movie were a man and we were out on a date, I would have faked going to the bathroom and snuck out the front door after fifteen minutes. But since I was home watching it on a Friday night, in bed, with two beers, and the remote was broken, I ended up watching the whole movie. Reluctantly.

I could go on and on for pages about how bad I think this movie really is. But for the sake of time and the sake of your waning interest at this point, I will just focus on two major points of hatred.

Point One: Ginnifer Goodwin's Character

I can't remember the character's name and the fact that I don't even want to bother hitting up IMDB for the answer should tell you how awful she was. Not Ginnifer. Oh God no. I feel terrible for that poor woman. It's her character that I couldn't stand. Whatever her name was. I found her to be one of the least likable non-villain movie character EVAR! She whined and fussed and crazied her way into a relationship with a man who found her completely obtuse and unattractive for the first 120 minutes of a 128 minute movie. I would really like for someone to explain to me how that happens. I thought the point of the movie was to explain to women why they shouldn't cling, stalk, OMGwhyisnthecalling and daydream about dudes who have no interest in you. And then, at the end, she does all those things and the guy falls in love with her.

WTF???

Point Two: WTF??? (Serious plot spoilers - like you should really care.)

Seriously? What the hell? I thought this movie was supposed to be a lesson to women about men and dating. The first 3/4 of it was very cram-it-down-your-throat lessony about the obvious signs when a man isn't interested. But in the end, everyone threw the lessons out the window and just did whatever they felt like doing.

-Jennifer Aniston finally gave up on the man who wouldn't marry her for completely BS reasons and then he asked her to marry him.

-Old Blue Eyes pretended to be a nice guy, cheated on his wife, told her, was forgiven and still acted like an ungrateful bastard.

-Eric From Entourage took advice from the gays and it turned out wrong BUT EXCUSE ME the gays are NEVER wrong.

-Ginnifer McCrazypants freaked the fuck out on the Mac guy and then he fell in love with her. Doesn't that completely dispel every one of the points that were being made in the movie and book? A dude treating you like crap equals a dude who isn't interested unless of course you get all psycho on him and pretend you're his live-in girlfriend at a cocktail party, cock block him, yell at him, and then try to forget about him. For some reason that's the winning combination to his heart, then and only then will he show up at your door with an apology and a cheesy romantic gesture. The end.

Point Three: I Lied About Only Two Points

Scarlett Johansson still sucks at acting. I understand that she's hot and all, but they could cast a cardboard cutout of her in movies and I doubt anyone would notice.

2 comments:

Col said...

I agree. I was so pissed Aniston and Affleck got married OR that she even got back together with him. WTF, indeed. If you're going to make an ultimatium, stick with it. I could not agree more with Scarlett. I thought she was just bad in Woody Allen movies because of the schtick and neurosis, but she's just bad, like Lindsay Lohan bad. I'm all in a tizzy now.

Chrince said...

Exactly! The Aniston/Affleck thing made no sense. The fact that he would walk away from the relationship rather than make a real commitment to her should have been it. That's pretty unforgivable in my book.

The whole movie just felt insulting. Like, I'm a woman so obviously this is the type of movie that I'm supposed to be into. No need for a plot that makes sense, oh no. I've got romance and that's all I need.

ScarJo blows. Those Woody Allen movies were the worst. There's one scene in Match Point where she's in her bedroom and it's supposed to be very intense and dramatic, and the whole thing just fell flat.