I went to the doctor for a shot in the arm. Simple enough, right? No,
Okay, whatever, she's the professional here.
So that's what she does. But something went a little wrong. I heard her say, "Oops! I think I hit an artery!" And like an idiot I looked down at my arm which is now spurting blood. The room got a little dim and I think I uttered an "Oh no." She asked me if I was alright, which clearly I wasn't, and I told her that blood sort of freaks me out. She had me sit down in a chair and relax for a minute while she tried to stop the bleeding. I'm familiar with the feeling of my medical nausea though and I knew the only way I was going to be okay was if I fled the building and sat in my car with my head between my knees. Really, it works. Sometimes I get a Sprite in the parking garage too.
She reluctantly let me leave and walked me to the billing counter. I was very much not okay by the time we reach that billing counter. I was clutching the counter for dear life and my vision was blurry. I was so desperate to leave that rather than sit down and give myself a minute, I followed her out into the lobby.
It is at this point that I pass out. On top of the nurse. I was trying to walk to the nearest chair but my feet felt like they were stuck to the floor and the lights went out. I fell forwards on top of her and sort of bounced off and landed backwards on my butt and elbows. Purse and coat went flying. I never lost consciousness, I just lost the ability to see, talk and move. The entire time my brain was saying, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." I heard lots of yelling and I opened my eyes to three nurses standing over me with stethoscopes and little flashlights, ready to check my vital signs. I told them I was fine and I was just testing their emergency skills. All I wanted was to run from the building but they wouldn't let me up off the floor in fear of me falling again and hitting my head. Can't blame them. I already tried to leave once and ended up blacked out in the lobby. They brought me a cold towel, water, crackers - all while I was sprawled out on the floor of the waiting room. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. It was like one of those dreams where you realize you're at school naked. All you want to do is flee the premises.
I've come close to passing out in waiting rooms many times, but this was the first time it's actually happened. I once voluntarily laid down on the floor outside of a
This story is also cross referenced under, "Why I Don't Have Any Tattoos."
1 comment:
You know that lack-of-sound you hear when you are laughing so hard you're not only crying, but flexing your kegels as to not pee your pants?
Ya, that was me. Just now.
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