I Would Be An Awesome Housewife

I always hear about the post-wedding depression that women feel. All that planning goes into the day, and then it's over just like that. They get bored, sad, look for things to occupy their time. Well, not me. I have a running list of all the things that I've put off doing so I can work on this wedding of ours. I can't wait for the wedding to be done with so I can start taking care of some things.

01. Finish painting the kitchen, bathroom and basement. This bugs me day in and day out. It's so annoying that half of a wall is painted red and the other half is some awful buttercream color.

02. Turn our "master bedroom" into a semi-legit master bedroom. All the rooms in our house are roughly the same size, none have an attached bath so there isn't anything to distinguish the rooms. I saw a really great project on HGTV where the people on the show took white tongue and groove boards (like the kind you get for floors) and they covered the cottage cheese ceiling with them. It looked incredible. I want to do that, cap it off with some white crown moulding and then replace the closet doors with white ones. I think it will give the room a very lux feeling and perhaps create the illusion of a master bedroom. In my head it can be achieved in a Saturday. With an army of men and power tools of course.

03. While I'm replacing closet doors, I might as well take care of the other two bedrooms too. They're ugly.

04. Decorate for Halloween! I plan on decorating for Halloween as soon as the wedding is over. Who cares if it's still September. It's getting done. Last year I went all out with the front of the house. Screw Christmas, Halloween is my favorite holiday to decorate for. I'm also making a sweeeet costume. It's going to be great. It is. I promise.

05. Start my new blog site venture. I have a pretty great (in my humble opinion) idea for a blog site. I'm keeping it on the DL until it's up because... because... well, because you're all THIEVES! Honestly though, I don't own the domain yet. It's going to be more of a businessy type blog rather than a personal blog. I'm hoping it garners me lots of eFame and I become the next Go Fug Yourself.

06. Finally call someone about coming out and replacing those windows! They anger me every time I try to open one on a nice breezy day and I'm reminded that they are literally nailed shut.

07. Start my world campaign to educate the everyone on the proper use of the word "literal." No, you did not "literally" shit a brick. You "figuratively" shit a brick. You also did not "literally" drop dead. Nor did you "literally" laugh your head off.